Friday, November 12, 2010

A Bunch of New Quotes

As I approach the final Home Stretch, I leave you with some more
random quotes that I have collected over the years:

There's one thing that separates us from animals. We aren't
afraid of vacuum cleaners.

The man who invented the eraser had the human race pretty
well sized up.

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
-- Dan Quayle

We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and
the second half by our children.

If people really liked to work, we'd still be plowing the
land with sticks and transporting goods on our backs.

Life is just one damned thing after another.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to
bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.
-- Bob Dylan

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

Conciousness: that annoying time between naps.

And don't you just love these sports folk?

Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the
other team below 100 points they almost always win.
-- Doug Collins, basketball commentator

The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of
our games.
-- David Garcia, baseball team manager

All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year
have been at Dodger Stadium.
-- Ralph Kiner, NY Sportscaster

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the
record would stand until it was broken.
-- Yogi Berra, to Johnny Bench

The Minutemen are not tall in terms of height.
-- Dan Bonner, CBS sportscaster, during a UMass basketball game

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
-- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

Our strength is that we don't have any weaknesses. Our
weakness is that we don't have any real strengths.
-- Frank Broyles, college football coach

It is beyond my apprehension.
-- Danny Ozark, baseball team manager, regarding his team's losing streak

The team has come along slow but fast.
-- Casey Stengel, baseball player, Mets manager

People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They
don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990

Half this game is ninety percent mental.
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series.
Unless we lose game five.
-- Charles Barkley, making NBA playoff predictions, 1994

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of
character, but then I realized that I had no character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim
herself "the Charles Barkley of figure skating", 1994

I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon
during his visit to Greece

Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.
-- Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst

Peace be with you.


  1. Yes Sir you gotta love those sports folk, I'm still laughing on those.

    and another for you; Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

  2. The sports ones are hilarious! They really are as dumb as they look! And so are the politicians!

  3. I may not be afraid of vacuum cleaners but I can't say I like them much.

  4. Life's just one damn thing or another..I have embraced this quote a bit too often this year. And I have to really does inspire the best quotes! What about Tom Hanks in A league of Their Own..."There's no crying in baseball"...I love that one.

  5. Not only that, Jimmy, but don't hold two cats at the same time!

  6. these are all really good :)

  7. Aaaah, an ambidextrous that throws with both hands--:P It's true that some people don't pay attention to a word that they're saying! I LOVE these quotes, bring some more, bring some more!!:D (pretty please)

  8. These are always great Joe. This group is no exception. Truth be told, I'm a little afraid of vacuum cleaners. That's why I stay away from them whenever possible!