Friday, April 30, 2010

My Illustrious Career...Part Two

I had been working at my dad's restaurant as a busboy and
dishwasher since late 1968. As I got older, and then started
driving, I was able to take on a more responsible position...I
became a cook.

I was trained by my dad, my grandpa, and a few other older
kids that already worked there.
(My perfect brother-in-law, whom you might remember from
my trip to Vegas, was one of the neighborhood kids who worked
there. We have known him for a long time!).

Being a cook was still a hustle, but it was more challenging and
somewhat interesting.

Most Italian food is quite easy to prepare, pasta is just boiled
in water, sauces are made in advance and just heated up,
lasagna and other dishes are prepared in advance and then
get cooked in a broiler. The most difficult part is getting the
timing correct so all the food comes out at the same time for
the same group of people.

Making pizza is the most time-consuming task...the dough has to
be rolled out, the ingredients applied, and then it has to be
carefully placed in the oven so as not to fall apart before it
has cooked.

By 1972 I was old enough to drive, so could transport myself to
the joint on Saturday and Sunday afternoons...our busiest days
of the week...getting there around two in the afternoon.

My grandparents taught me all about how to bake the bread, how
to combine the secret recipes of tomato paste, sauce, and spices
in the correct proportions, and the making of minestrone soup.

The best part was when we had to make dough for the pizzas.
We combined bags of flour, salt, yeast, eggs, milk, and other
things that I don't remember in a huge mixing vat, and then when
it was done, we had to roll it up into different size for small, medium, and large pizzas.

When it came time to make the pizza, you take the ball and roll
it out flat, different sizes for whatever size pizza you are
making. The dough balls were flattened out by a roller
machine...similar to those old-style washing machines you may
have seen where you put the clothes between the rollers and
crank it out...but in the end, yes you had to toss it up into
the air like they do in the movies. I have to say I got pretty
good at this!

On a slow night at work, we could get by with just one cook, but
you really had to be hopping to go back and forth between the
kitchen area preparing the pasta dishes, and then dashing out to
make pizzas as well.

On busy nights, it was always a joy to have one person making
pizzas, and another dedicated to doing the other chores.

I don't remember how much money my dad was paying me at that
time, recall when I started as a busboy, I was making sixty
cents an hour. But it must have gone up, because in 1973 I had
saved up enough where I could buy my first used car! (An old
Plymouth Valiant).

As I read all this stuff I am writing, a few things come to mind:

1. I am a bit surprised (pleasantly, though) that anyone really
cares about this stuff enough to actually READ it...and,

2. This was a pretty big part of my life, it is still vivid in
my mind, yet this is the first time I have ever expressed any of
this in words.

So it is pretty cool to have an excuse to actually document it
verbally so I can read it later, in case my mind gets hazy when
I get older.

It was at this point in my life, as I was approaching my senior
year in high school, that I should have been planning what kind
of work I wanted to do for a living. I never did this. I couldn't
think what I wanted to do for a living, never went to college,
and have suffered my whole life because of this.

So when the business was sold in 1974, I was 18 and unemployed.
Stay tuned for My Illustrious Career...Part Three.

Peace be with you.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Ballad of a Well-known John

Well, folks, it is with very much trepidation that I have
decided, after much soul-searching, to introduce some of my
music that I have written over the years.

I remember an interview with Alice Cooper once where he
said that he always wished he could listen to his own music
as an 'outsider' who has never heard it, is not
familiar with it, and could judge it objectively as if hearing it
for the first time.

I feel much the same way about my music. When I listen
to it, I can't help but wince a little bit, because I
hear how it sounds, but in my head, I know how it is
supposed to sound, and how it would be if it was
properly done by someone more talented.

I am influenced by so many different types of music, that
my style really can't be categorized as just one genre,
but it varies.

My group, had I ever 'made it', would have been called
Cyrus Stone...I figured that was a generic-sounding
name that wouldn't pigeon-hole me into just one type
of music...such as rock, ballads, folk, country, etc.

I am the first person to concede that I am by no means a
very good musician, and I will never claim to be a very
good singer, but I have fun. And since I am not paid for
any of it, what the hell, right?

But if I may, I will state that I believe much of my music
is decent, and if properly recorded by professional
musicians, it would at least be different than much of the
tepid stuff that is out there today.

In my defense, remember that this stuff was recorded in a
converted bedroom with a 4 track reel-to reel, there is
nothing professional about any of this. But I hope that my
enjoyment and just plain 'fun' is evident in it.

I open with a safe and simple tune that was inspired from
my desert days. As with all music, it will probably sound
much better if you listen with headphones.
The lyrics appear below, and, if I have done this linking
thing correctly, if you click here, you may possibly be
able to hear the song:

The Ballad of a Well-Known John

1. This place'll cool off when the sun goes down
Don't look for me, I won't be around
Just grab my book, and head to town
And for the next hour, I won't make a sound

2. Call all my friends, tell 'em where I've gone
I'll take my time, I'll be gone long
A pack of smokes, and a clean fresh roll
And a couple of dimes to pay the toll

C. I know a place in town where the women ain't allowed
It's cool and dry, and clean and fresh
And there ain't no flies around
There's running water and electric lights
And a nice soft place to sit
I call this song The Ballad of a Well-Known John

3. Well, I don't reckon I'll be here come the morning
'Cause I don't aim to tarry here all night
But if I should fall asleep here, and start snoring
Just knock on the door, give it a shove
I'll get up alright


Peace be with you.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Digital Art...Space...The Final Frontier

One of my little hobbies that I like to indulge in when I
have the time is creating digital art. It is a very
creative and time-consuming process, and a single project
takes a while to complete.

Often, you don't really know if it is going to turn out
really cool, or just plain lame until you have already
spent hours and hours on it. But if the results are
garbage, you can sometime salvage something out of it and
just call it 'Abstract'.

(I think the word 'abstract' just means garbage that was
intended to be garbage).

I'll post a few more of these in the future, but for now,
this is my Outer Space Theme.
(Don't forget to click to enlarge).

Base inside the crater wall, and The Lander:

Close to Saturn's Rings and Shattered Mountains on Mercury:

Some imaginary planet somewhere with people getting freaked
out by something:

Peace be with you.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

All in Favor of The Death Penalty?

There was a time when I was for the death penalty.
If the purpose of locking people up in cages is to keep
them away from the "normal" people, then I say lock them
up. If someone cannot be rehabilitated, and continues to
harm and prey on the people trying to earn an honest living,
then yes, let the son of a bitch rot in jail forever.
Whatever past the vagrant has, however difficult his hand in
life has been, or no matter how bad his childhood was, I can
see no excuse for crime against another person.

Yes, I know, easy for me to say, sitting in my warm house with
my full belly, going to my paying job tomorrow. And it is
true I grew up well-fed and cared for, my family life has been
reasonably stable, and have not suffered any severe pain. I
have, however, been completely broke, unemployed, unfed for
five days, and bound for the street in five more, but I can
tell you that there are plenty of minimum wage jobs in the
newspapers every single day, and getting a roomie or two,
anyone can live a pretty decent life.

I also understand some people may have difficulty landing even
these bare minimum jobs, due to being already homeless, dirty,
maybe having a difficult or spotted past. But if someone wanted
the job badly enough, then he would be able to be honest and
up-front about his situation, and any decent employer would be
willing to take the applicant if he were fully able to do the work

So is the death penalty a deterrent to crime? Most people
believe not. But I can say one thing: If someone convicted of a
violent crime were taken right out after their verdict was read
and had their hand whacked off, I think I can sincerely state
that the crime rate in big cities would drop, and drop rapidly!

But the death penalty? If someone were to commit an
aberrational act, wouldn't they have to be insane? A sane person
would not kill someone to rob him.

But wait, a person can be perfectly sane, but at the same time
have lots of greed, and have no regard for another person's
rights. This person cannot be rehabilitated, so if they have no
remorse, should they then be killed, instead of locking them up?
Should I feel bad, then, if a serial killer with no remorse is put
to death?

As a Christian, my one regret would be that killing this person
robs them of the chance to repent later in life.
(By the way, repent means being truly sorry for the deed, wishing
it had never happened and that it could be taken back...NOT just
saying 'I have found the Lord and am born again!').

During the Exodus of the Jews, God handed the LAW down to
Moses. The death penalty was strictly prescribed for many crimes...
but keep in mind that there were no jails for these wandering people...
An aberrational person had to be executed to prevent them from
preying on innocent people. That was then, this is now.

Nobody get away with anything on this Earth. God will judge all,
and everyone will get their proper redemption or penalty.

The fact is, if you were truly and morally for the death
penalty, and were willing to use it with no guilt at all, then
you must also be willing to pull the switch yourself, not just
cheering as some paid guard does it for you.

Speaking for myself, I would not be willing to pull that switch.

Peace be with you.

Friday, April 23, 2010

My Illustrious Career...Part One

When I was a kid growing up, my dad had his own business as
the owner of an Italian restaurant. Originally, my dad had
brought us all from Chicago to California in the early 60's,
along with HIS dad, and they opened the business together.

I was fortunate that I was able to get a job as a busboy in the
restaurant at the early age of 12, something that is not easily
done these days because of child labor laws.

I worked every Sunday night for six hours, making the sum of
60 cents per hour. At the end of the night, I would usually get
tips of about 50 cents from each of the two or three waitresses
that worked there, so I was making around five bucks for my

It was pretty cool, because most kids my age did not have any
money, and even if they got an allowance, I doubt that in 1969
many kids were clearing 20 bucks a month.

So I had my first job...and being a busboy, even in a pretty
small joint, was hard work. On my feet all night, carrying big
tubs of dirty dishes around, sweating, and getting pretty dirty.
I will not soon forget the night of New Year's Eve 1969-1970.

We were very busy, as I recall there must have been some kind of
party going on, and let me tell you, I was hopping! My dad would
always tell me after that night, that if I never worked another
day the rest of my life, on THAT day, I worked.

As time progressed, I was 'promoted' to dishwasher...and this
had its ups and downs. I was still on my feet all day, but at
least I could remain in one spot without have to run around. It
was not difficult work, when the tubs of dirty dishes arrived,
one only had to rinse them off with a high-pressure kitchen
sprayer, load them into baskets, and dump them into a series of
huge sinks with soap and VERY hot water, then transfer them to
several more rinsing sinks.

The biggest drawback to the job was the fact that it was very
HOT and HUMID back there. The water in the sinks was kept
hot by huge gas burners lit underneath them, it was like working
over a gigantic gas stove all night. And with the humidity
produced by the steaming water, I would be sweating buckets.

Fortunately, the back area also had the entrance to my favorite
place in the joint...the walk-in freezer. If I felt myself
getting overheated, I only had to open the huge door, and I
would find myself in an arctic heaven of delicious cold air. As
many times as I went back and forth between the hellish oven of
the dishwashing area and the walk-in, I am surprised I never got

A few more years went by, and by the time I was fifteen, I had
become a cook. Since I know everyone is just dying to hear the
details of a life lived more than 40 years ago, I will continue
this in the very near future...

Till then...Peace be with you.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Another Random Wednesday

More random thinkings:

I love to drive through puddles of water, the bigger and deeper
the better. I know where all the best ones develop when it rains.
I will purposely aim for them and go as fast as I can when
hitting them.
(This seems to annoy my bride, for some reason)

I often muse that I have probably had around a hundred jobs in
my life so far. Slight exaggeration, but how slight?

Recently I tried to tabulate them, which was no easy task since I
have been working for more than 40 years so far. I have done
restaurant work, office work, construction, sales, purchasing,
courier, carpet cleaning, retail, PC repair, call center,
factory, taxi driver, truck driver, shipping & receiving,
warehouse, plumbing, roofing, real estate, musician...

I actually did arrive at a total of almost 60 different jobs
between 1968 and the present (and these are just the ones
I can remember).

Very soon I will be doing a series of posts on some of these
jobs, and it will be the very first time in my life I have ever
written about them, or attempted to see how much I can
remember. While it is always nice to have some loyal readers,
I have to say that even if my blog turns boring and nobody cares
to read it, it will be good for me to write a lot of this stuff down.

I know Ian, Pat and Bendigo like to write a lot of auto-
biographical stuff, and we love to read it.

This is what is so great about blogging...even if nobody reads
it, it forces me to write. So write I will.

Peace be with you.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Daughter In Concert

Sometime last year, while The Daughter was playing around with
her karaoke machine, she allowed me to take a few pictures of her.
My bride and The Daughter know that I like to take pictures of
pretty much anything, so they are quite used to me having a
camera with me all the time.

Now, these days, I not allowed to photograph The Daughter at all
(let alone look at her) so these are quite rare. She did not know I
was going to manipulate these to make it look like she was really
giving a concert.

I printed a few of them, and they came out cool. Of course, she
hates them. But maybe someday, when she is older, she may
come to appreciate them a little. Or not.

The left ones are the originals, and the right ones have been
obviously 'doctored'.

Peace be with you.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The 95% Rule

Many people have recently blogged on some interesting
automobile issues dealing with 'inattentive' drivers. I have
commented that anything that has to do with cars and driving is
always good fodder for discussion.

I would like to expound on this, if I may, but would like to
shift my attention to that under-appreciated anomaly, the lowly

Now, being the excellent drivers that we are, we all know that
technically, if we are in a parking lot, the Ped always has the
right of way. If there is ever an accident, a whoopsie, or any
type of contact between your car and a Ped while in a parking
lot, the driver is the one who is going to be suspect.

(Note that this is usually NOT true on the highways...)

Since most Peds are aware that they are in this esteemed
position, they tend to make the fatal mistake of assuming that
the drivers going through the parking lot really do have the
mental capability to operate their vehicles safely.

Now we have to stop here and discuss the 95% Rule. But before I
do that, I need to make a qualifying statement:

I make no assumptions on the intelligence of other people.
The very fact that a Person is a Human Being should be enough to
qualify them as being 'intelligent', as in 'not stupid'.

We know that any Human Being that is allowed to go out in public
without having to be under the direct supervision of someone
else is probably also capable of keeping themselves safe from
harm. I would imagine that if this Person is alone and
ambulatory, they are likely alert enough to protect themselves
against most perceived threats.
(We know we could be harmed by other Human Beings, but we
should be able to prevent anything from damaging our body by
our own lack of attention).

So we can all agree that most people are more intelligent than
say, Amoebas, otherwise we would not be 'Human'. Then why
do we see people cross the parking lot without even LOOKING
to see if there is any traffic coming? Can anyone really be that dense??

The 95% Rule states that whenever you are interacting with
another Human Being, there is a 95% chance that they are either
not paying attention, are distracted, are not aware of their
surroundings, or are otherwise disengaged from reality, thereby
displaying the illusion that they are not intelligent.

The following are actual photos that I have taken in one of
our neighborhood shopping centers of people that are so
inattentive that they just blithely cross the street with no
regard for their own safety. Sometimes they don't even look!

Notice the two young ladies crossing with their backs to traffic:

And this gentleman is focused on his cell phone:

How can people do this? Do they just assume that the drivers
all see them and will watch out for them? I would not assume

The urge to 'look both ways before crossing' is so deeply
ingrained in me that I have the compulsion to do this if
crossing any kind of designated pathway, not just the street
(such as hiking paths, sidewalks).

In fact, if I suddenly found myself alone on the planet, and I
knew there were no other Human Beings around, I imagine it
would take quite some time for me to un-do this urge...even if
I knew there was no one else around, I would still automatically
'look both ways before crossing'.

Peace be with you.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Eyes Have It

I got back from my little vacation a few weeks ago.
Got home on a Sunday, had to go to work the next day.

As I was driving in to work early in the morning (it was still
dark outside), I glanced over to my various gauges in the car,
as one normally does while driving. And I noticed a problem
with my vision.

The illuminated gauges in the dark car will cause any vision
abnormalities to become apparent. I was having some trouble
making out the time on the digital clock.

Now, I have pretty good sight...I have taken to wearing reading
glasses over the past five years, but only for close-up reading.
My distance vision always has been great, and continues to be
great. I only need to wear them for reading.

And what I was noticing out of my right eye was not any kind of
blurring or out of focus...but it looked as if I was looking
through wax paper. You know how when you first wake up in
the morning, and if you have like mucous in your eye...or if your
eyes were was kind of like that.

I thought it might have been one of those 'floaters' that
everyone has, but this was much worse. I really like being able
to see, so I was concerned.

Once I got to work and brought up my computer, I was able to
investigate this some more. I went onto the APOD site
(Astronomy Picture of the Day) which is usually the first thing
I look at. I made a screenshot of today's shot, and was able to
manipulate it to give you an idea of what I was seeing:

Note how nothing is out of focus...but sort of just 'covered up'.
So I gave it a few days to see if it would improve, but it did
not. I searched Web MD...could it be a cataract starting to
form? Was there a problem with my retina? EYE CANCER???

About a week later, I very coincidentally got a call from my eye
doctor reminding me that it was time for my annual exam! I was
lucky enough to get an appointment for only one week away.

As the day of the appointment drew closer, I noticed that the
problem seemed to be improving, much to my relief...but oddly, I
did not want it to go away completely before the doctor saw me,
otherwise I may never know what it had been. So the
appointment was yesterday afternoon.

By the time I got there, the distortion was hardly even
noticeable anymore. When he looked into my eye with his special
camera, he discovered that what had happened was I had a vein
at the back of my eye that had somehow become either
obstructed, or weakened, and it had bled a little bit into my eye.
This photo taken from the doctor's computer shows the
discoloration from the leaking blood that had obscured my vision:

It's actually a pretty cool me it looks like
Mars...or a breast. He says it may have been caused by the
pressure changes from flying, as I noticed it the next day after
I got home from Vegas. As long as it is going away...which it
is, I should be OK.

I really wrote all of this rambling stuff so I had a good excuse
to show you the really is cool-looking, because I
am fascinated by the human body, science, and nature stuff.

Peace be with you.

Monday, April 12, 2010

The End of the Scam...

I hope I am not boring ya'll with these email scams...I can
almost feel my followers dropping off...which is why I tried to
compress this into one weekend, when blogging is slow.

But just when I thought they had finally figured out I was
pulling their leg, things are finally getting more interesting.
This is what I have been waiting for...the part where I have to
make a commitment, and then try to get them to waste their time
while they see if I actually deliver on anything.

I also now have two contacts whom I can play off each other.
It may be possible to get one of them to think they are being
scammed by the OTHER one.

This urgent email arrived from Dr. Brown early this morning:

Attention: Cappy Joey,

Thnaks for your email and contents noted. I have also recieve
scan copy of your Rolls Royce and with the id.
(My notes: I am surprised he accepted the 'Rolls Royce ID' as
being a legitimate form of ID).

Secondly, there is no time left, since you don't have
international passport at this point, which makes it impossible
for you to come to london immediately. I hereby advice you to
hire a lawyer here and pay him so he can help you go to the
court and get the documents B and C.

Note, other clients, who cannot come use the services of the
lawyer. The cost which you have to pay is US$3,000 only.
I have discuss with the lawyer Mr. John Smith, he has promise to
get these documents on your behalf once you send him the fees of
US$3,000.He confirm that you use his information and sent it
through western union money transfer on his name as follows:

Name : John Smith
Country: London-UK
Amount: US$3,000

Once you make the payment via western union money transfer,
foward the details so that the lawyer can pick up the moeny and
commence working for you immediately.

Waiting for your prompt and urgent response.

Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Godwin Brown.
I rapidly dashed this back to him:

My good Doctor Brown:

I am happy to report to you that I have located my passport!
I had not lost it after all!

Since you have not responded to my letter where I asked you
WHEN I need to be in London, I have taken the liberty of
sending the $3,000 to Mr. John Smith. Mr. Smith has received
the money, and he also mentioned that I needed to bring
an additional $12,000 US with me to take care of legal fees.
(My notes: they are trying to get me to show up with large
amounts of cash so they can rob me).

Anyway, Mr. Smith will be meeting me at Heathrow tomorrow
evening (Monday). I asked him if I should clear this with you,
but he told me it is already set up. I sent him my flight info,
he will be picking me up at the airport, and he says he will
contact you later on this week.
(My notes: the idea here is to make Dr. Brown think that he has
been ripped off by Mr. Smith).

Please reply to me quickly if I need to do anything else, as I
will be departing within ten hours.

Cappy Joey
Almost instantly, I got this reply back from Dr. Brown:




(My notes: he gave me an international phone number I am
supposed to call. I did not call him, I choose to let this rest
for now. My work here is finished).

My final notes on this:

I cannot take credit for the idea to play them like this. I got
this idea from a gentlemen who published his experiences with
these scammers years ago on this page.

This guy is amazing, and much better than I am. I tried to be as
funny as him, but I fell way short. Although the first time I
tried this a year or two ago, I had one of them running half-way
across India to get to some fake American Express Office to get
the money I had 'wired' them. I almost felt bad for him.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Peace be with you.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Mrs. King...Part Four

Now it is getting more complicated, as I am supposed to contact
some guy named Dr. Brown. I think I will follow this a bit more
to see how far it goes.

I am amused that they just blithely ignore my comments about
breasts, and they don't question the fact that I keep raising
the sum that will be given to me.

This email came from Gil:


This is Barrister Michael Holonis.
This is to let you know that I got a mail from Mrs Anita King
the sick lady who wants to donation the sum of $10 million to
you on behalf of the less previlieged.

Note, we have already commence the process of getting this
release to you, however you are required to send scan
copy of
any of your ID, such as

A, International Passport OR Drivers License.
B, You have Sworn Affidavit here in London-UK
C, Notarization and Legalization of Affidavit

For your notice below is the name and address of the Security
Company in Switzerland, so go ahead and contact the security
company on their email address as below:

Utility Trust Finance & Securities Company,
Contact Person: Dr. Godwin Brown, The Account Officer,
Email address: ---------------

Your faithfully
Barrister Michael G. Holonis
I sent this email to Dr. Brown, the Account Officer:

Dear Mr. Brown:

My name is Cappy Joey.

I see that you are a doctor. Let me ask you a question:
I have this rash on my foot that doesn't want to go away. It
makes big bubbles that pop and it is pretty messy.
What do you suggest for that? Should I use a balm?

I wish to change the terms of our agreement. I think I should
get 50% of the 50 million instead of 45%. Mr. Vince Gil told me
that would be ok with him.

In any case, Mr. Gil told me I was supposed to send you a
photocopy of my ID. I should tell you that I accidentally flushed
my normal passport ID down the toilet the last time I was in,
believe it or not, Flushing, New York!
And the government tells me it will take up to SIX WEEKS for
them to send me a new passport!

However, in the meantime, I can send you a copy of my
Rolls Royce
Club ID, just so you can verify who I am.

Does this mean I get to go to London? Yipee! I have always
wanted to go there.
How soon do you need me there? Will I have time to learn the
language? How will I know where to go when I get there?

Please email me back and let me know how to proceed.

Cappy Joey
I got this reply from the good doctor:

Attention: Cappy Joey,

Thanks for your mail with some of the informations which I have
taken note. With regards to your question, I want to clarify by
saying am not a medical doctor and cannot prescribe any
regarding what you ask me.

I have a doctorate degree on Accountancy, an account by
profession. Alsdo about the %, I think 45% which I offer you is
ok and fair for your help and assistance therefore we cannot
change the term for now.
I will wait one more day on this and see if they send me any
more interesting letters. Thanks for bearing with me on this
diatribe, I guess I got bored and wanted to see what would
happen if I actually corresponded with these folks.

Peace be with you.

Mrs. King...Part Three

Having a little fun this weekend, the fun with the
scammers goes on a little longer.
I got this reply from Mrs. King early this morning:

Dear Beloved,

Greetings from MRS.ANITA LATICIA KING, I got your reply
to my mail and I am very happy to know that you willing to assist
me in this noble course, I have already forwarded your vital
information to my Attorney Barrister Michael Gill Holonis, and I
have instructed him to file in an Application of Withdrawal of
this Donation of $10 million to Utility Trust Finance &
Securities, Switzerland to authorize them to release the fund to

I am very sick now to handle this on my own, and I will beg you
to please use this donation well according to my wishes for the
less privileged, and our good Lord will bless you for doing so.
Please that the money is $10 million united states dollars.

Contact my attorney Barrister Michael Gill Holonis on his email
address: --------------

Expecting to hear from you and please remember that I will need
your prayers on a daily base, as I am preparing for a surgical
operation of my left breast next week Friday.

God bless you and your family


Here is my reply to Mrs. King:

Dear Mrs. King:

Thank you again for keeping me updated. I will send an email
to attorney Barrister Michael Gill Holonis per your request.
I hope he replies to me quickly so I can get my phone turned
back on.

Have you given any thought to sending me your picture? Or
maybe you can just send me a picture of your breast.

Greedily yours...Cappy Joey


And here is the email I sent to the Attorney:

Dear Barrister Michael Gill Holonis:
(Do you mind if I just call you Gill?)

I am writing to you because I have been in contact with
MRS. ANITA LATICIA KING, she says she is one of your
My name is Cappy Joey, perhaps she has mentioned me to you.

She says her husband was late for something, and as a
result she has 40 million US dollars that she wants to donate
to me, on the condition that I use it to help some of the
Christian charities around the world.

She is currently stuck in the hospital, I think she said that
she was about to undergo breast enhancement surgery, so she is
not able to take care of this herself.

Anyway, she told me that if I contacted you, that you would
just transfer the money into my account, so could you do
that please.

Also, ask her if she could send me some before and after
photographs of her breasts. My girlfriend is thinking about
doing that, so I wanted to make sure they look natural.

Thank you Gill, can't wait to get the money. Maybe afterwards,
we can get together in London with Mrs. King and slam back
a few cold ones!

Cappy Joey


Peace be with you.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Mrs. King STILL wants to give me Ten Million Dollars!

Mrs. King sent me a reply surprisingly quickly...she
must really be desperate to part with her cash:

Dear Beloved Joey,

Greetings from Mrs. Anita Leticia, thanks for you kind reply to
my letter. I believe that the Lord that makes me to write you
will also help you to do the right thing. I am writing this
letter from a hospital where I have been for three weeks now;
hence I need you to help out in this noble dream of mine since
I am too weak to handle this on my own. Please assist the less
priviledge and gospel in general.

My late husband name is Alahaji Sheik King.
My name is Mrs Leticia Anita.

I told you in my first letter to you that my late husband
deposited this money with a Security Company in Switzerland, I
also told you that my Attorney Barrister Michael Gill Holonis,
whom I have given power to the vital documents concerning this
fund who also is presently in Sierra-Leone Africa will file in
an Application of Withdrawal of the consignment to the Security

All my plans is invest this donation for developing the
of our God Words and to take care of the less previleged. So I
will want you to also use this Donation according to my plans.

Presently I am writing this letter from a Hospital where I have
been taken my treatment, which is why I handed over every thing
concerning this Donation to my Attorney, since he has been my
family Lawyer for 18 years now.

Meanwhile to process the documents that will be used to
withdrawn this consignment from the Security Company I will
some vital information about you on behalf of your
so that I will forward it to my Attorney immediately,
so please
confirm this items as below.

1,your full name
2,your mailing address
3,your telephone and fax numbers.

Expecting to hear from you as soon as possible.
God bless you and your family.
Mrs. Anita Leticia King.
Here was my reply:

Dear Mrs. King:

You can't believe how thrilled I was to get your rapid reply.
I am trying to restrain my greed at getting my hands on this ten
million dollars. You did say it was US Dollars, right? Because
if it was, say, Yen, for example, it probably wouldn't even
buy the Sisters in the Abbey a cold 12 pack.

Co-incidentally, I was planning on taking a trip to Africa
soon anyway, as I have just the spot for a new shrunken head
over my fireplace, and I am hoping I can procure one there.
Are you familiar with any of the curio shops in Sierra Leone,
perhaps you have a friend who can take a custom order?

So you say that your husband...Rodney, was that his name?...
Was trying to get to Switzerland with the loot, and he was
late? Was his flight delayed, or what?

I am also sorry that you are in the hospital, here in the
States, I once knew a girl who tried to get breast
and one day they both just fell off. I hope
that doesn't
happen to you.

Anyway, per your request:

My full name is Cappy Joey.

My address follows:

1600 Pennsylvania Ave
Bumphuk, in the capital of E-gyp

My telephone and FAX lines are currently disconnected,
as I
forgot to pay the bill, so you won't be able to call me.
However, email is always a great way to communicate,
I can just hack into my neighbor's LAN pretty

This money will come in pretty handy in paying the bill.

Please tell me what else I need to do, such as, do you
need bank account numbers, etc...and my thoughts are

By the way, do you have any hobbies? I am a singer in
a punk
band, here is our photo during one of our concerts:

Cappy Joey
Peace be with you.

Mrs. King wants to give me Ten Million Dollars!

As anyone who has been on the internet for any length of time
may know, scammers, spammers, thieves, pirates, and all sorts
of degenerate humans are out there preying on us.

While the Nigerian email scam of years ago has pretty much
run its course, similar ploys exist today. I have known a
few people in my day who actually reply to some of these
bottom-feeders and try to have a little fun with them.

If they believe you are interested in their little scheme,
you can sometimes lead them along, if nothing else, to
waste their precious time.

The last time I got one of these tantalizing come-ons, I
gave them a reply. Here is the original email:

Dear Beloved Friend,

Greetings in the name of Lord Jesus Christ, I am Mrs.Leticia
A.King Sheik, a widow to late Alhaji King Sheik, a new
Christian convert suffering from long time cancer of the breast
and have only six months said by my doctor, presently I am in a
Hospital in London taken my treatment. My late husband, was
killed during the USA raid against terrorism in Afghanistan, he
was very wealthy, and I inherited all his business and wealth
after his death because
during the period of our marriage we
couldn't produce any child,
so I decided to divide this wealth to
churches in Africa,
America, Asia and Europe and for humanity
in general.

I therefore selected you after visiting the website and I prayed
over this selection and I am willing to donate the sum of $10
million US Dollar to you on behalf of your organization to lend
a hand in reaching out to the less privileged and the
development of the gospel of our lord Jesus Christ. This fund is
presently in Security Company in Switzerland.
So upon your reply I will instruct my attorney Barrister Michael
Gill Holonis to file in an application of Withdrawal of this
fund to your favor.

So please confirm these items as below if you are interested to

1, your full name
2, your mailing address
3, your telephone and fax numbers.

On receipt of the confirmed items, I will forward it to my
Attorney so that some necessary changes will be made on the
documents to enable you have claim to the Consignment/Donation,
but note that until this Donation of $10 million is delivered to
you, I will strongly insist that this transaction most be keep a
top secret, as I wait your gentle and kind response to

God bless you and your family.
Mrs.Leticia A.King Sheik.
Here is the reply I sent back to Mrs. King:

Dear Mrs. King Sheik.
(Not sure if you are a King, or a Sheik, sorry).

Even though your circumstances are difficult, I am very excited
to get your email. Congratulations on becoming a Christian, now
we can be assured that all your actions will be honorable,
moral, and legal.

For this reason, I feel perfectly safe in dealing with you, so
thank you for thinking about me. I promise to disperse the funds
in a manner most conducive to the charities mentioned.

Your attorney, Barrister Michael Gill Holonis, has a very long
name, so I hope that means he is experienced.

My name is Cappy Joey...but due to security reasons (my job is
pretty high-profile, and I want to make sure this stays very
secretive...between just me and you) I don't want to reveal my
address until I hear back from you.

Please tell me what I need to do in order to consummate this
relationship. If you need me to travel to either your country or
Switzerland, I can do that, as I am due for a vacation anyway.

Suggestively yours...Cappy Joey
And so we wait to see if she will take the bait...
Peace be with you.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Would you want to Live Forever?

While it might be tempting to say you want to live
"forever"...especially if you have no belief in God or an
afterlife...unless you were able to keep it stimulating, I don't
see how you could not become bored after a time. This of
course implies that you don't have to be working all this time,
which leads to the fact that you would have to have an
unlimited supply of cash.

So if we are going to live forever, that would have to mean
total immunity from disease or injury. We would have to be
'invulnerable' like Superman. This might make things more fun
right off the bat, as we could not only save money by not having
health insurance or doctor visits, but we could also travel in
the world freely without the danger of falling victim to thugs,
terrorists, or the effects of war.

This leads me to my belief that human cruelty on other humans
is one of the most shameful aspects of our world today. The earth
is such a beautiful place, and it would be so awesome to be able
to go anywhere in the world, and visit different cultures, and
experience different customs without worrying about the danger
from deviant and insane human beings.

You could spend a huge amount of time traveling, and I don't
know that forever would even be enough time to see it all.

"Forever" would probably mean as long as the earth is in
existence, which could reasonably be as long as the Sun is
stable...say, at least a few billion more years, or until humans
destroy the planet. Believing in God as I do, I would only be
willing to have a very long life span if I could spend the time
doing what I want to do, and have my family and friends stay
alive with me.

But in the end, I would hope that I could go to an even better
life when I eventually die. When you think about it, though, being
in heaven would be much the same thing, only better...because
now you have a whole infinite UNIVERSE to explore, in the
company of all your beloved friends and family. And what better
tour guide can there be but God?

Peace be with you.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Random Wednesday

I am gonna jump on the Random Bandwagon here. I got a few
random stuffs to say:

I do pick up loose change when I see I see it laying on the
ground. Quarters for sure, dimes and nickels, yeah, and pennies
too, if they are heads-up. If they are heads-down, I turn it
heads-up and leave it there for the next person to find.

The best part about having a day off from work is the night
before. I love to sit down in front of the tube and just zone
out. Hopefully I can find an interesting science show on Nat Geo
or something, a show about the universe, a Nature show, How
It's Made, Dirty Jobs, Survivor, Myth Busters...something that
is entertaining and interesting without being too heavy.

I revel in the luxury of getting sleepy, and not caring what
time it is, or what time I have to get up in the morning.

You know that I love all you crazy bloggers out there, and
commenting is a joy of interaction...but I gotta tell ya...this
word verification thing for comments is pretty tough
sometimes. Not that it is so much trouble to type the words,
but trying to decipher them! I mean, come on, what is this?!:

If they didn't make it so hard to read, that would be one thing,
but I sure get frustrated when it tells you "WRONG!!! TRY

Yeah, I know, as a relative newbie who doesn't get a ton of
traffic, I am not plagued with spam, and I know all you pros who
have been around for a few years probably get a lot more, so I

I'm just sayin'.

Peace be with you.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Ride Back to Vegas...

Stardate: Saturday, April 20, 2010....

It is time to make the long long drive back to Las Vegas. Since
our flight back to DFW leaves at 11:00 AM, and we had to allow
enough time to return the convertible, we had to leave at 4:30

We groggily got up, said our goodbyes to my mom, and packed up
The Beast. I drove, my sister in the front seat next to me, and
we crammed the back seat full of suitcases, boxes, and The
Daughter. The girls could sleep on the way if they liked, but
this was not going to be easy for The Daughter...she didn't have
room to stretch out, lay down, or do anything except sit there
and be cramped and miserable.

The top stays up during the whole trip back, after all, it is
dark and cold outside. We arrive back in Vegas by about 8:00 AM.
My brother in law is up, and already making us breakfast, as he
knows we will have to head to the airport, turn in the
convertible, and get through security.

So, what have we learned here? Let's recap:

A convertible would probably be a nice toy to have if you can
afford it. If you are OK with parking it in the garage and only
putting down the top for the few weeks out of the year where
it is not either too hot or too cold, then fine. You aren't
going to be using it for the normal family car unless it is just
one or two in it.

My brother in law was happy because my sister had been after
him for a few years to get one, but now that she has had her fun,
she has 'gotten it out of her system'.

And you know, I really feel bad for The Daughter...because she
is the one that was so excited to get it, it was her idea. And
it turned out that she only got to ride in the front seat with
the top down TWICE...the trip from the airport to my sister's
house, and then from my sister's house back to the airport. I
feel really sad for her, because now, when I ask her how she
liked the convertible, she says she hates it!

Peace be with you.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Beautiful Azusa Canyon

We spent Tuesday-Friday at my Mom's house in Azusa, California.
Her house backs right up against the foothills of Azusa Canyon,
and we continued to be blessed with beautiful weather. We had
clear sunny days, it was warm without being too hot, and I
enjoyed a few short hikes in the canyon:

When I was a kid growing up in this area in the 60's and 70's, a
huge part of the San Gabriel Valley in So. Cal was undeveloped
like this, and while many of these parks still exist, back in
the older days the natural land was much more vast.

My friends and I spent our summers birdwatching, catching
crickets, grasshoppers, lizards, snakes, and frogs. We used to
ride our bicycles for miles and miles around, and when I see
land like this it puts me at the very doorstep of Heaven.

It is wonderful to see that right in the middle of LA County,
places like this continue to exist, even though they are smaller.

Hummingbirds are attracted to the feeders in the back yard, and
they don't seem to mind if I get very close to them:

Whenever I visit there, a lot of my old friends who still live in
the area come by to see me, and we spent several days
reminiscing, having dinner, and partying a bit like we used to.

Peace be with you.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

"It is finished."

John 19: 30

Peace be with you
John 20: 21