Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Fair is Fair

I have devised a few ways that perhaps you could use to either
make money or save money. Since you are my favorite people, I
thought I would share with you.

Have you ever wanted to win the lottery? Well now, my friend,
you can...using the easy Joe Method.

All you have to do is locate somebody who has already won!
If you wander around your workplace, and happen to see
someone with some scratcher tickets, have them check and see if
they are a winner. If they are already a winner, make them this

Say they have just won $1,000 and they had paid two dollars for
the winning ticket. All you have to do is offer to reimburse
them half of what they paid for the ticket, and in turn they
split the winnings with you. So you offer him one dollar (he
gets half his investment back) and then YOU get half the
prize...$500! As you can see, it is a win-win situation.

I don't know why more people are not doing this.

Here is method number two:

You are driving with someone, and you notice one of those signs
that say "$500 reward for information leading to the arrest and
conviction of someone caught for littering".
So all you need to do is convince your buddy to toss something
out the window. Then, you can turn him in to the police, and
you both get to split a cool 250 smackers.

I am surprised nobody else has ever thought of this.
Am I really that much smarter then the average bear?

Now, suppose you see that brand new 60 inch High-Def LCD TV
that you have been thirsting for. Only problem is, it costs a hefty
2,000 bucks. This takes a bit more work, as you have to locate
three other people who are just as interested in it as you are.
But once you throw this deal at them, you shouldn't have any
trouble finding the takers.

You all four go in on the deal, and it only costs each of you
$500. What you are now going to do is 'rotate' the ownership
of the TV, and since YOU were the smart one to think of the deal,
you get the first round.

You get to take it home and use for the first five years. Then,
buddy number one gets it for the next five years. Then we
rotate to number two, then number three.

It kind of seems that buddy number three gets the short end of
the stick, but he's really not...he is getting a product that
has been bench tested for fifteen years without failure, it has
only cost him 500 dollars, and he gets to keep it forever now.

The beauty of this system is that every five years, you locate
three more suckers economically savvy consumers, and you start
the process over again.

You see, this is why I am here. This is why you follow me,
because where else are you going to get such free and sound
financial advice?

Peace be with you.


  1. Thanks for the awesome tips. That littering one sounds like pure gold. Multiple friends, multiple angles. I guess it pays to network.

  2. So... Joe... are you in the market for a television?

  3. Yes, Kristy, want to go in foursies with me?

  4. The littering thing could actually work! Except if your friend has to pay a fine for littering...and then use all the reward money!

  5. Yes...never thought of that...
    well, cost of doing business, I guess.

  6. Only if we remember it was my suggestion, so I get the tv first!

  7. Where were you when I needed sound financial advice? I can find plenty of those "suckers" Jeeeezzzz I better put on my best behavior and get to work....uh,I forgot, I don't have a best behavior, damn-it!