Incommunicado

One thing I like about Friday nights is that I don't have to go
to work the next day. The best part about a day off is the night
before...you don't have to worry about what time you go to bed.

I like to browse the internet late at night, as I have the time
to surf without being disturbed. And, since I have been
blogging as of late, I have more time to peruse other blogs
attentively.

The Daughter, too likes to mess around on her laptop and cell
phone at night. She has lots of people to talk to, and texting
is her preferred method of communicating.

Since I know she will respond to me electronically, I can go
onto Facebook and send her a message while she is holed up in
her room.

Me: Why don't you get off Facebook and do something productive
with your life?

The Daughter: can u go downstairs and get my charger? in my
binder pencilbag, hey thx

Ah, a response! She acknowledges my existence, then.
But notice the 'text speak'? Sure you do, you all use it. The
electronic shorthand that is fine for casual texting.
But I don't use it.

I am not college-educated, I am just a working slob. But I do
have lots of interests, and I do like to read. I have
self-educated myself on things that I personally take an
interest in. So when I write, I am kind of a stickler about
correct spelling and punctuation. And since I am older, this
electronic boom kind of happened after I was already pretty set
in my ways.

So, even when I send emails and quick casual text messages over
the phone, I can't help but use proper English grammar. In fact,
when I got my cell phone, one of the requirements was that the
keyboard lent easy generation of capital letters and symbols.

The Daughter makes it even MORE interesting by being so
careless that she even misspells the already-bad shorthand!

ANYWAY...as usual, I digress. The point being, it is kind of
cute when I see her embrace the technology of laziness...

The Daughter: still waitin here

Me: Are you hungry? Would you like some food? When is the last
time you ate anything?

The Daughter: had cracks n pop at lxs h;s
Translation: I consumed crackers and a carbonated beverage
at Lexy's home.

Me: That's not good enough, it is my responsibility to nourish
your growing body with healthful goodness.

The Daughter: no pps nt hngry nd chgr
Translation: No thank-you, Father, I have no appetite.
But I still would like my cell phone charger, if I may.

Attentive parent that I am, I go down to retrieve her charger.
I knock lightly at her door, waiting for an affirmative response
from her.

I slowly open the door, mindful of the danger (I have to be wary
of the Singularity...it tends to move to different places in her
room).

She is propped up in her bed, laptop open in front of her.
Also on her lap, the cell phone and the ipod. The lambent glow
of the various electronic devices illuminate her visage.

A tangle of wires snakes down around the nightstand, they
terminate at the power strip that supplies all her energy needs.

At this point, since I am there in person, she really has no
choice but to communicate with me verbally. So I watch in
amusement as her mouth tries to form the words.

"Thanks, dad, could you plug it in over there, and give me
the other end? My cell phone is dead." She does not look up
from her laptop, however.

I tell her that if she is going to be on the laptop, she can't
be in her room with the door closed, I have an obligation to be
nosy and controlling of her life until she is around thirty.

She closes the laptop, opens the phone, and dismisses me with a
wave of her hand.

And they say that parents don't communicate with their kids anymore.

Peace be with you.