Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Shopping with The Daughter

Last week I was assigned the task of taking The Daughter
shopping to get some new clothes. I am usually not the preferred
parent to undertake clothes shopping expeditions, but it needed
to be done, and my bride was already engaged in some other
endeavor, so I guess I got lucky.

However, since we were going to do this at Target, one of our
favorite places to shop, I didn't mind it too much. At least
there would be lots of things I could browse for while she was
shopping, I didn't expect to be too bored.

We arrived at our destination (which, lucky for us, is only a
few blocks away), and we proceeded to shop. First, I had to
make sure her cell phone was charged, as she would be calling
me when it was time for me to fulfill my part of the arrangement
(pay for her stuff).

The Daughter: OK, I'll be a while, I have to find some white
shorts with an awesome belt, and try stuff on. You go in the car
and wait. I will call you when I am done.
Me: Why can't I just walk around the store and look at stuff I
The Daughter: No, because you will embarrass me.
Me: How can I embarrass you if I am not around you?
The Daughter: Because there are lots of people that I know that
come into this store, and I don't want them to see you.
Me: Tell you what, I will just wait right over there...
(referring to the cool benches they have at Target by the
changing rooms.)

Being a camera hound, I had to take some shots of them, as
they are so abstract:

After assuring her I will not be seen, I leave to browse the
store. I spend some time looking at the TV's and electronic
stuff. They have DVD players, burners, and printers. They have
2 Gig USB drives for 30 bucks! I first got a 250 Meg thumb
drive several years ago for $70.00!! They also have blank DVD's.
I could probably pick up a few of those.

Why is it that even if you already HAVE a DVD burner or a TV,
you still like to look at the ones at the store? The one thing
that Target does not carry is computers. I wish they did.

*****A Slight Digression*****

During the Halloween and Christmas seasons, when The
Daughter was pre-teen and sweet, we used to go around
and turn on all the noisy decoration displays. You know
how they have, for example, the motorized coffins, and
when you press the button all the lights and noise come
on? Or if it was Christmas, you turn on all the noisy
Christmas displays that play music.

I like when the seasons overlap, so we would run through all the
aisles and hit all the buttons to turn everything on. We would
then dash away, listening to an animatronic cacophony of music,
jangling bells, groaning zombies, and Ho Ho Ho's from Santa,
all blaring out from the aisles. We used to have such fun

She used to be my little buddy. We would tell everyone that
I was Big Fart, and she was my sidekick, Little Toot. If I
mentioned that today, she would think it was dumb.


Next I went over to look at office supplies. I don't know why I
like to browse the office supplies area. I could go to Staples
and look around all day. It's not that I need any more binders,
folders, pens, or tape.

I wander back to The Daughter to see how she is making out.
She is trying on sunglasses. That was not on the itinerary.

She tells me she is trying to find a pair of white shorts
with an awesome belt. "Why don't you just ask someone?"
I ask her. She gives me a look of puzzlement. I look around
and find one of the Red Shirts that work there.

I ask her, "Excuse me, but do you guys have any white shorts
with an awesome belt?"

"Padre!" The Daughter exclaims. (You may recall that she is
still in the phase where she calls us Madre and Padre). "I told
you to go wait in the car!"

I find my way over to the garden center. I could probably hang
out here for a while. I find a nice quiet oasis where I can lay
down and maybe rest for a bit:

Just as I start getting sleepy, my cell phone rings. The
Daughter is ready for me now. I perform my fatherly duty of
paying for her purchases.

Now she must endure the ride home with me...she will be forced
to be in my presence during the five minute drive home.

Peace be with you.


  1. I can't believe you had the nerve to be seen in Target! OH! Too bad they can't make a cloak of invisibility for us--the shunned parents of teens. I am just barely allowed to walk in the same stores as my son and then I have to promise to behave myself.

  2. Your daughter cracks me up because she reminds me of how I felt as a teenager!

  3. yep. that about sums it up!

  4. This just made me laugh, typical teenager, but I assure you...she will grow out of it and she'll be a big Daddy's girl! I was just like her, and now I'm freaking out because I haven't seen nor talked to my Dad since last Saturday (they've been on a Cruise).

  5. I remember taking our Daughter shopping for clothes and yes sir it was so embarrassing for her, no matter what you say or do it makes her look around to make sure no one she knows is looking Ha Ha

    I had her jump into the floorboard of the truck once because we were approaching a group of her friends because she didn’t want to be seen in my old truck, I just honked and waved at them, funny thing is when she started driving guess what she wanted to borrow.

  6. Isn't it strange how our money is always acceptable, even when we aren't!

  7. I like the insight from the ladies...all assuring me she will grow out of it.
    Great story, Jimmy, I can totally relate!

  8. Big Fart and Little Toot! Oh my gosh, so CUTE!! You made me laugh a lot on that one! And Joe, I'm repeating what everyone is saying, but rest assured, she won't be a teenager forever! I love to go shopping with my mom now and absolutely don't care to be seen with either of my long as I don't meet anyone I know, though...Kidding! I really appreciate their presence now!:D

  9. I've gone through this five times and I'm happy to say that only one of them did this stuff to me on a regular basis. She was also the most demanding of the five.

  10. you experienced the same as us(me and my hubby)...??!
    I totaly know how do you feel, friend...
    Thanks for sharing the nice story.
    I'll be back to know more about your odd life at home.